Children use the internet to learn, play games, explore interests, and
connect with friends. Those benefits are real, but digital platforms can also
give unsafe individuals direct access to children.
Online predators do not always appear frightening or suspicious. They may
present themselves as friendly, supportive, attractive, generous, or close in
age to the child. They may study a child’s public posts, interests,
friendships, and emotional needs before beginning a conversation.
Parents do not need to create fear around technology. Children need
informed, involved adults who teach them how to recognize manipulation,
protect their personal information, and ask for help without fearing
punishment.
What Is an Online Predator?
An online predator is someone who uses digital communication to exploit,
manipulate, threaten, sexually abuse, or otherwise harm a child.
Predators may contact children through:
• Social media
• Online games and gaming consoles
• Messaging apps
• Livestreaming platforms
• Video sharing sites
• Group chats
• Online communities
• Fake or hacked accounts
• Educational or creative platforms with chat features
The FBI warns that offenders may pretend to be the child’s age, share
similar interests, or live nearby. They may use fake photographs, stolen
accounts, altered images, or video to support a false identity. A photograph
or video call does not guarantee that someone is who they claim to be.
(fbi.gov, fbi.gov)
How Grooming Can Begin
Grooming is the process of gaining a child’s trust and gradually weakening
their boundaries. It may begin with ordinary attention:
“You’re really talented.”
“I understand you better than your parents do.”
“We like all the same things.”
“You seem mature for your age.”
The predator may make the child feel seen, admired, or emotionally
important. Over time, the conversation may become increasingly personal.
The individual may:
• Offer frequent compliments
• Give gaming currency, gifts, or money
• Ask about family conflict or loneliness
• Communicate late at night
• Request personal information or photographs
• Encourage the child to move to a private messaging app
• Ask the child to keep the relationship secret
• Introduce sexual jokes, questions, images, or conversations
• Pressure the child to use video chat
• Ask where the child lives, attends school, or spends time
• Suggest an in person meeting
• Threaten, shame, or blackmail the child
NCMEC identifies compliments, shared interests, and positive engagement
with a child’s posts as common ways offenders develop rapport during
grooming. (missingkids.org)
Predators Often Use a Child’s Needs
Predators may look for children who appear lonely, angry, insecure,
curious, rejected, or eager for acceptance. This does not mean that a
vulnerable child caused the exploitation. The responsibility always belongs
to the offender.
A predator may attempt to become the person who provides the attention,
reassurance, affection, excitement, or sense of belonging the child wants.
Once trust has been established, the predator can use that emotional
connection to create secrecy and control.
This is why emotional connection at home is part of online safety. Children
need to know they can tell a parent about an uncomfortable interaction
without immediately losing all technology, being blamed, or being shamed.
What Is Sextortion?
Sextortion occurs when someone obtains or creates a sexual image and
uses it to threaten or control another person. An offender may demand
additional images, sexual activity, money, gift cards, cryptocurrency, or
continued communication.
Financially motivated offenders often pose as young people, establish
quick contact, request an explicit image, and then threaten to send it to the
child’s relatives, friends, school, or social media followers unless money is
paid. The FBI advises families that sending money or additional images
rarely ends the threats. (fbi.gov)
Artificial intelligence and editing tools can also be used to create fake
explicit images from an ordinary photograph. A child can therefore be
threatened even when they never sent a sexual image.
(fbi.gov, banner.missingkids.org)
Make sure your child understands:
If someone threatens or blackmails you, come to me immediately. You
will receive help, not shame.
Warning Signs Parents Should Notice
One behavior does not necessarily mean that a child is being exploited.
Look for sudden changes, unusual patterns, and several signs occurring
together.
Possible warning signs include:
• Becoming unusually secretive about online activity
• Quickly closing screens when an adult approaches
• Using hidden or secondary accounts
• Receiving messages throughout the night
• Becoming anxious when separated from a device
• Withdrawing from family, friends, or favorite activities
• Sudden changes in mood, sleep, appetite, or school performance
• Receiving unexplained gifts, money, gaming credits, or deliveries
• Communicating regularly with an unknown older person
• Using sexual language that seems unusual for the child’s age
• Appearing frightened, ashamed, panicked, or depressed after going
online
• Deleting large amounts of content or suddenly abandoning an
account
• Talking about a new friend but refusing to explain who the person is
• Expressing hopelessness, self blame, or fear that life is “over”
Any mention of self harm or suicide requires immediate attention. Stay with
the child, remove access to means of self harm, and contact emergency or
crisis support.
Build Safety Through Conversation
Do not limit online safety to one serious talk. Make it part of ordinary family
conversation.
Ask questions such as:
• “What games and apps are your friends using?”
• “Has anyone online ever made you uncomfortable?”
• “What would you do if someone asked you to keep a conversation
secret?”
• “Has anyone asked you to move from a public platform to a private
chat?”
• “Would you recognize someone who was pretending to be your age?”
• “Who are the trusted adults you could tell if I were unavailable?”
• “What would help you feel safe telling me about an online mistake?”
Listen calmly. If children expect anger, humiliation, or immediate
punishment, they may hide an unsafe situation until it becomes more
serious.
Establish Clear Family Safety Rules
Create rules that match the child’s age and maturity. Explain the reason for
each boundary.
Your family rules might include:
1. Do not accept private messages or friend requests from unknown
people.
2. Do not share your full name, address, school, schedule, passwords,
location, or family financial information.
3. Keep location services turned off when they are unnecessary.
4. Do not send private or sexual pictures.
5. Do not move a conversation to another platform because someone
pressures you.
6. Never agree to meet an online contact without a parent’s knowledge
and supervision.
7. Tell a trusted adult if someone offers gifts, asks for secrecy, discusses
sex, or makes a threat.
8. Use privacy settings and limit who can view posts or contact the
account.
9. Keep devices out of bedrooms overnight when appropriate.
10. Block and report accounts that behave inappropriately.
Parental controls can help create safer digital spaces, but they work best
alongside conversations, supervision, and a relationship in which children
feel safe asking for help. (consumer.ftc.gov, consumer.ftc.gov)
What to Do If Your Child Tells You Something Happened
Your first response matters. Even if your child broke a family rule, begin by
protecting the relationship and addressing the immediate danger.
Say:
“Thank you for telling me.”
“I believe you.”
“This is not your fault.”
“You are not facing this alone.”
“We are going to get help together.”
Then take these steps:
• Determine whether your child is in immediate physical danger.
• Stop direct communication with the suspected offender.
• Do not send money, additional images, or personal information.
• Preserve usernames, profile links, dates, messages, threats, and
payment requests for investigators.
• Avoid forwarding, downloading, or redistributing sexual images of a
minor.
• Report the account through the platform’s safety system.
• Contact local law enforcement or the FBI.
• Make a report to NCMEC’s CyberTipline.
• Obtain emotional and mental health support for your child when
needed.
The FBI recommends saving relevant profiles and messages because they
may help investigators identify the offender. It also advises reporting the
account, blocking further contact, and seeking help before paying money or
sending more content. (fbi.gov)
Where Families Can Report Exploitation
If a child is in immediate danger, call 911.
In the United States, suspected online child sexual exploitation can be
reported through:
• NCMEC CyberTipline: CyberTipline.org
• NCMEC 24 Hour Call Center: 1-800-THE-LOST or 1-800-843-5678
• FBI: tips.fbi.gov or 1-800-CALL-FBI
• Your local law enforcement agency
NCMEC operates the CyberTipline so members of the public and online
service providers can report suspected child sexual exploitation.
(us.missingkids.org, missingkids.org)
If a nude or sexually explicit image taken before the person turned 18 may
be circulating online, NCMEC’s free Take It Down service can create a
digital fingerprint of the file on the user’s device. The image itself does not
leave the device, and participating platforms can use the fingerprint to help
detect and remove matching content. (us.missingkids.org, missingkids.org)
Teach Safety Without Teaching Shame
Children sometimes make impulsive decisions. They may trust the wrong
person, share private information, or send an image before understanding
the consequences. Shame can push them deeper into secrecy.
Make this promise clear:
“You can always come to me. We may need to address a choice you
made, but protecting you will come first.”
A child who feels safe telling the truth is harder for a predator to control.
Predators rely on secrecy, fear, embarrassment, and the belief that no
trusted adult will understand.
A Faith Based Approach to Digital Safety
Faith based parenting includes teaching children that their bodies, minds,
identities, and attention have value. They should never have to exchange
access to themselves for attention, affection, popularity, gifts, or
acceptance.
Remind your child:
• You are deeply loved by God.
• Your body deserves dignity and protection.
• Healthy relationships respect boundaries.
• Anyone who demands secrecy, sexual content, or fear is acting
outside of love.
• Wisdom includes asking for help.
• A harmful experience does not remove your worth.
• God’s grace is present when we tell the truth and seek healing.
James 1:5 reminds us that we can ask God for wisdom. Parents can pray
for discernment while also using practical safeguards, staying informed,
and maintaining honest communication.
Final Encouragement
Parents cannot monitor every message or prevent every risky encounter.
They can create a home where online safety is discussed openly,
boundaries are consistently maintained, and children know exactly where
to turn when something feels wrong.
Your child does not need to navigate digital danger alone. Let your ongoing
message be:
“You can tell me anything. I will listen, help you become safe, and
walk through the next steps with you.”
That message can interrupt secrecy, expose manipulation, and give a child
the courage to seek help before an unsafe interaction causes further harm.
Yvonne Brooks
Parenting With Love Academy
www.parentingwithloveacademy.com
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